Finding the Light

Light has played an important role in my life, both in a physical sense as well as a more symbolic one. In the physical sense, there is my inability, due to a visual impairment, to perceive light in a way that allows me to see like most people. I have a condition called retinitis pigmentosa that results in progressive vision loss, starting from the periphery and moving to the center of the visual field, and there is a good possibility that someday in the future I will lose my remaining eyesight. Today, I have less than 10 degrees of central vision remaining, which means that I am classified as legally blind.

It was only after I was diagnosed with my visual disability that I became interested in photography, which is all about playing with light. I approached photography not only as a personal challenge, but as a way to challenge the world and the way it sees me as a person with a visual disability. As a personal challenge, photography has encouraged me to not withdraw from the world, but to engage with it. Photography has encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and travel, because as they say, “in order to take more interesting photos, you have to visit more interesting places.” I use photography to challenge assumptions about ability and disability. One of my favorite things to do is to pull up to a spot with my white cane and take out my favorite camera to take a photo (these days that camera is likely to be my iPhone). The idea is to use two things that are not often associated with each other (a blind person’s white cane and a camera) to challenge assumptions about what it means to be blind and what blind people can do. In this sense, photography is a tool I use to educate others.

In a more symbolic way, light refers to the role education and educators have played in my life. I have been fortunate to have a number of mentors in my life. One of those was Julio, the social worker who was assigned to me when I struggled in school after arriving in the U.S. as a non-English speaker. In the middle of a somewhat chaotic transition to a new country, a new culture and a new language, Julio became my lifeline. As a strong Dominican-American male figure, Julio became my role model for what I could achieve if I applied myself and pursued an education. My second mentor was Profe Rick. Although Profe was the Spanish teacher at my high school, and I didn’t take Spanish, he became a trusted friend without whose support I would not have made it through boarding school.

Just a few years after I arrived in the U.S., I received a scholarship that allowed me to attend a Quaker boarding school for ninth grade. This was a turning point in my life. The motto of my boarding school was “Turn to the light,” a saying that captures the Quaker idea that each of us has an inner light that represents that of God within us. While I am not a religious person, this idea of inner light left a lasting impression. It has guided my work throughout my life, including what I do today as an inclusive learning consultant. My goal in this role is to find that inner light in each person, that spark that represents each person’s potential and ability to contribute. Just as Julio and Profe Rick found that spark in me and lit my inner light, I try to look for ways in which technology can empower learners who face similar challenges as the ones I faced in school to find their own inner light and unleash their potential. What keeps me going in this work is what I call the “magical moment:” that moment when you see the spark in a person’s eye that lets you know you’ve changed their life for the better in an instant.

I had such a “magical moment” a decade ago when I first encountered inclusive technology. I had just been diagnosed with my visual impairment and was struggling to find my way through a master’s degree in instructional technology at the University of South Florida. At around that time, Apple had released OS X Tiger with the VoiceOver screen reader and the advanced “Alex” voice. What made this a “magical moment” for me was the message I got from the technology. It was a message of hope that everything was going to be OK because there were really smart people working on technology that would allow me to accomplish my goals even if I lost my remaining vision. In this way, “Alex” spoke to more than just my ears and my brain — it spoke to my heart and my soul. It was the spark I needed to persevere in my studies and go on to complete my master’s degree and later my doctorate.

When we think of light, we often just think of it only in the physical sense, that light which allows us to perceive the colors and beauty in the world around us. But light can be much more. It can be our inspiration, our spark that keeps us going and allows us to overcome the challenges we face in our lives. For me, light has not only been the physical light I have been losing with every passing year, but the symbolic light I have gained through the people and technology that have come into my life to allow me to have a meaningful and fulfilling life.

My challenge to you is this: How will you be that light for somebody else? More importantly, how will you help them “turn to the light” and find their own spark?

Double exposure showing an image of cars moving toward the light at the end of a tunnel overlaid over a closeup of Luis's eye.

2012: The Year I Quit Photography?

Well, not quite. But it will definitely be the year I make a major transition in my photography. As I will explain below, 2012 will be the year that I begin to take most of my photos with my iPhone. Since I purchased my iPhone 4S this fall, I’ve been using it more and more as a replacement for my Nikon D3100 DSLR camera. The improved camera specs of the iPhone 4S (8 megapixels at F2.8), along with the new features in IOS 5 (such as quick access to the Camera app from the home screen, the ability to use the volume up button to take a photo and VoiceOver compatibility) make the iPhone the ideal device to “capture the moment” for someone like me.  As Chase Jarvis has stated, it is the camera that’s always with you, always at the ready to document those fleeting moments in life.

However, it’s not only the convenience and ease of use of the iPhone that’s drawing me away from using a traditional camera to capture images. As most of you reading this know, I have a visual impairment and I’m slowly losing my vision to a condition called retinitis pigmentosa, or RP for short. At the moment, I have less than 10 degrees of vision left (less than 20 degrees qualifies you as being legally blind). RP leads to progressive vision loss starting with peripheral and low light vision. In my case, my low light vision is what has been most affected by my RP, but the usual closing in of the field of the vision is also there.

I’ve been lucky that my progression with vision loss has been pretty slow, but the last few times I’ve gone out to shoot with my camera, I’ve noticed some changes in my remaining eyesight. It’s ironic that it is photography that is helping me judge these changes in my vision. I’m not sure if these changes are really there or if it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Much of what I’ve read about RP states that people with the condition lose most of their peripheral vision around the age of 40, and guess what, I turn 40 in a few days. So, maybe it’s all in my mind, but the last few times I’ve gone out with my camera I’ve ended up with some major eye fatigue and pain afterwards. I think what’s happening is that since I can’t see that much of the frame through the viewfinder, I’m having to move my eyes a lot to make sure I have framed the shot properly. All of this eye movement is probably fatiguing my eye muscles, so that when I get home I have pain in my eyes and the area around them. It usually takes a few doses of pain relief medicine and some warm compresses for the eye pain to subside, and I would rather avoid it if at all possible.

I love photography, and I would hate to give it up. However, when I got into this hobby I knew that the day would eventually come when my vision loss would make photography really difficult. I have no regrets for having spent a considerable amount of money on my DSLR and my lenses and other accessories over the last couple of years. I would not give up the joy that the hobby has brought me over that time. My photography has allowed me to experience a lot of beauty around me that I would normally miss with my own eyes (the camera has a far better range of vision than my own eyes). I also saw photography as a challenge, not only for myself but also for all of us who have visual impairments. I have always enjoyed the expression on people’s faces (when I can see them) when I step up to a spot with my white cane and pull out a camera to take a photo. I know they look, and I know they probably ask themselves “wait, isn’t he blind, why is he taking a photo?” If I have forced anybody to confront their preconceived ideas of the meaning of blindness and disability, then it has been all worth it to me. I can continue to make a similar statement through my use of the iPhone as a video and still camera.

So the thought that has been on my mind for the last few days of 2011 and the first few of 2012 is, where do I go from here? Well, I would say that for 95-99% of the time I will be using the iPhone to take photos. The large, bright, sharp display on the device will make it easier for me to frame shots without having to stress my eyes as much. I also plan to use a trick I recently learned that makes it easier to take a photo by pressing the center button on the Apple headphones. I’ve looked at other options, but for now the iPhone appears to be the best one for me. The wide selection of apps with filters also means that even if I don’t quite get a picture right, I can apply a few filters and turn my failures into “creative experiments.” In some ways, I find not having to know so much about my camera sort of freeing, in that I can now focus on getting the best composition and less on what my camera is doing. In some ways, that’s exciting.

My DSLR camera does have a LiveView mode that allows you to use the LCD screen to frame a shot, but that mode is very slow (defeating the purpose of having a DSLR) and it is difficult to get sharp photos if you’re not using a tripod. Having said that, I have no plans to sell my camera and lenses. I could still use the LiveView mode for recording the videos I use in my tutorials on mobilelearning4specialneeds (after all, video is the reason that mode is in the camera in the first place). I could also use the camera for some brief shoots in a favorable lighting conditions. Limiting my time using the viewfinder will be the key, as will be making sure I take frequent breaks to let my eyes rest in between shots. At the very least, I will keep my camera and lenses as a nice present for my daughter when she gets older (though I’m sure there will be much better technology for her to choose from at that time).

I’m so grateful to Apple for taking the iPhone in the direction that it has by making it such as great portable camera (it is now surpassing traditional point and shoot cameras in the number of uploads on Flickr, one of the most popular photo sharing sites). Without the iPhone 4S, I think 2012 really would be the year I end my journey as a photographer. The way I see it, without digital I would have never gotten into photography in the first place (too costly considering the number of photos I have to take for a few good ones to turn out), and without the iPhone I would not be able to now continue in the hobby. It has been a beautiful journey with its usual ups and downs (times when I have gotten really frustrated when I couldn’t take the photos I wanted to, either because of my lack of technical expertise or the limitations of my eyesight), but I wouldn’t change a thing. There is a saying well known to those who follow Apple, “here’s to the crazy ones.” Well, I guess photography helped me see myself as one of those crazy ones who can change the world one small step at a time. It is crazy for someone with my kind of visual impairment to invest the money and time I have in pursuing a hobby like photography, but I hope that my crazyness has inspired somebody else to take on their own crazy adventure into whatever hobby fills them with joy and passion.

This long blog post is really the inspiration for the video I submitted for my application to the 2012 ADE Global Institue in Cork, Ireland, which is available below: